A to Z of British Lions tour As in Red Army.
About 40,000 fans will make the pilgrimage Down Under. Some will be wearing kilts, others will have the St order ray bans online George Cross painted on their face, most will be suitable lubricated, all will be in full voice. B IS FOR BRITANNIA Rule Britannia, that is. A little ditty the ray ban aviator large metal Brits like to belt out in times of triumph. Unfortunately for the Lions there have not been too many of late. Their last series win was over South Africa in 1997. That was 16 years and four tours ago. C IS FOR CATT Lewie not Mike. The Wanderers centre is one of two Novocastrians alongside Dylan Evans in the Combined Country side. He shares the same position and last name as the former Lions centre but is not related. Nor does he want to repeat Catt's impersonation of a speed hump when he tried to tackle a runaway Jonah Lomu at the 1995 World Cup. Look it up on YouTube. Last check it had 4,455,449 views. D IS FOR DOOLAN, DEMPSEY, DONAGHY, DARCY, DONOHOE Warning: if you encounter anyone boasting these surnames or similar avoid getting into a shout. They invariably have a Guinness in hand and don't stop at one. The craic will be great but the hangover could remain for the rest of the tour. E IS FOR ENGLAND The mother country. Once provided the majority of the Lions. Martin Johnson, who led two Lions tours, hoisted the Webb Ellis Cup on the back of a Jonny Wilkinson field goal at Stadium Australia in 2003. That was a decade ago. The Spice Girls are a chance of reforming before they claim the World Cup again. Easily recognised by their cauliflower ears, lack of a noticeable neck and tape around their melon. Normally found at the bottom of a ruck, cleaning out or in close proximity to the bar. Unlikely to win a bachelor of the year contest but will be key to a Lions victory. G IS FOR GUINNESS The preferred beverage of most tourists, especially those sporting red hair. Always ordered in pints, some like to draw pictures in the head, women often add a nip of raspberry a practice that should be avoided by all men. Connoisseurs could struggle to find a decent one in Newcastle. Best bets are the Northern Star and Finnegans. H IS FOR HEALEY As in Austin. The former England winger took on Australian lock Justin Harrison in 2001 and lost, big time. Healey labelled Harrison a plank, a plod and an ape in a newspaper column. Of course, the Brumbies lock stole a line out at the death of the third test to seal the series and silence the motor mouth. I IS FOR IZZY As in Folau. He won't feature tonight but reports suggest he will be there for Canterbury Bankstown rugby league club next year. A ray ban aviator new collection serial code hopper, who was born in south west Sydney but played State of Origin for Queensland. Looms as the likely successor to Wayne Rooney at Manchester United. By the Lions's next visit he could have played an Ashes series, won Olympic gold and be heading to Augusta for the Masters. J IS FOR JONNY WILKINSON Was a freshed faced rookie in 2001. Side stepped the tour to win a European Championship with Toulon. Was last seen sipping champagne and practising his drop goals with dinner rolls during Mad Monday celebrations on the French Riviera. Hasn't ruled out a late dash around the world and a chance to break the hearts of a nation again. (see letter E) K IS FOR KICKING Overrated exercise better suited to a round ball. Hopefully Lions coach Warren Gatland has been to the local Video Ezy store and grabbed a copy of the last tour Down Under and noted the scintillating end to end edge of your seat rugby it produced. L IS FOR LONG LUNCH There is nothing like a midday get together of like minded folk to get you in the swing for a rugby international. Not particularly conducive to memory retention but a good time to be sure, to be sure. M IS FOR MASCOT The Lions', funnily enough, is a miniature stuffed Lion named "Bil". The youngest on tour has the responsibility of being its custodian. Simple enough. Not for Scottish fullback Stuart Hogg who has blamed the toy for a serious bout of hay fever. Please. N IS FOR NEW ZEALAND The birth places of Lions coach Warren Gatland and Wallabies opposite Robbie Deans. In terms of job security the Kiwis are at opposite ends of the spectrum. Gatland is coming off a second straight Six Nations title. Deans is battling to keep ray ban buy his clipboard.
O IS FOR O'DRISCOLL As in Brian. Delighted the locals at the Prince Of Wales Hotel when he made a lightning visit to Newcastle in 2006 to catch up with former teammate Brian Carney and Knights legend Andrew Johns. The Irish had gone down to the Wallabies in Perth the night before but that did stop O'Driscoll knocking back a few schooners and doing an Irish jig.
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