50 ways to dodge a parking fine Because of the 50 front tyres chalked on Goderich Street and Forrest Avenue in East Perth last Thursday, mine was the only one where the parking fascists had gone full circle! For good measure, the chalk wielding fascistabulary also circled my back tyre.
Perhaps it has something to do with my penchant for rolling the Yaris 35cm forward at two hourly intervals so that any chalk mark might disappear under the wheel thereby ensuring my time in the one hour Goderich Street zone might remain undocumented. To test my theory, and for the record, I asked a fascist who I saw chalking tyres in another area of the city. To be fair, that fascist was one of the friendliest public officers I have ever met. So, on a descending right wing scale of Pol Pot to Pauline Hanson, he shall here be known as Joh Bjelke Petersen. Joh Bjelke refused to reveal why my tyres would have been so defiled, but he was willing to impart ray bean some handy tips on how to avoid the wrath of his colleagues. This was on the strict understanding I did not reveal his name, or where he was chalking for he was sure there'd be an investigation down at Nazi HQ once word got 'round about his candidness. So without further ado, here's Joh Bjelke's top 10 tips for avoiding the parking fascist's scorn: 1. Fascists generally allow a ray ban 3186 10 minute grace period above and beyond the designated parking time limit in any given area. 2. Rubbing chalk off ray ban wayfarer sunglasses your wheel with a wet thumb, or driving and reversing repeatedly through a puddle to do same, can be classed as obstructing the work of a public officer and attract a maximum $5000 fine. 3. Removing the chalk is futile anyway because every fascist carries a Blackberry like gadget on which they record the location of the tyre's air stem. So they know if a car's been moved or not. 5. On the downside, there is an offence called "Returned Within One Hour" to stop canny drivers moving their cars from bay to bay within individual parking zones all day in order to avoid fascistic detection. 6. On aviator ray bans sunglasses the upside, most inspectors don't enforce this, and generally issue warnings only (example below). 7. You can negate the chances of copping a 'return within one hour' ticket by moving your car across a street intersection because most parking zones change at intersections. 8. If you have a genuine mitigating circumstance, and the zapping fascist is handy, explain the factor to the fascist. Although they can't unwrite a ticket, they can record a note beside your offence which may help when you go to appeal the fine. 9. Don't bother cosying up to a fascist, as they regularly get rotated around town so they can remain beyond reproach of favour currying locals. 10. Never abuse or assault a fascist. They're only doing their job, and the cops and courts frown on fascist bashers. Operating on the Paul Simon principle, I reckon there must be 50 ways to dodge a parking fascist. C'mon, fine dodgers, leave a comment and let us in on the tactics that work for you. Hey you infringement officers bashers, have you ever driven to your local city for a business apppointment and could not find a parking spot within a kilometre of your destination because all the 30 minute and one hour parking spaces are taken. Well I have many times and it riles me no end when I am in that situation and see parking bludgers step out of the coffee shop to wipe the tyres as I desperately try to find a parking spot.
The time limits are there for a reason dummies. If you obey the law you would not get booked. If you get booked it is because you overstayed the time limits and probably caused some poor bugger driving around to find a spot to attend a meeting, to get to that meeting late.
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